4 Months

I can't believe we are already at 4 months! He is getting so big and learning so much. Having him so early, through us all off. He is really starting to catch up though. We are at about 3 month milestones but we will know for sure when we go to the developmental specialist at the beginning of September.

-He weighs 13 Lbs and 6 oz (thats 25% ... thats right ladies and gents- we have double digits!) and is in the 25 % in height too.

- He will get baptised in 2 weeks on August 7th on his daddys 29th birthday!
- E wears 3-6 month clothes. For a premie he sure is growing too quick for me!
- He can hold his head up for a minute of two
-Does great with tummy time
- Can reach and hold his toys
- And the best yet- HE SLEEPS 10-12 hours a night.

Etan is a great and easy baby. He is for sure going to be a social kid with all the people he is around daily. Its been fun to have Aunt Susie and mom take care of him before MDO starts.

Here are some more pictures.. cause I know you want them.
Watching TV with dad.. twins??

A stare off with Cassidy...

And a fashion plate with Polo shirt, skinny jeans and loafer socks..

I love being this little dude's mommy. I am slowly getting the working mom bit down. I think Bryan working days will be so much more helpful. As soon as I get this down he will start Mothers Day out and I will have to readjust again. So is life. God is teaching a lot about control and the ridiculously HUGE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE He has for us. If I can love this little guy this much how much more does God love us?

What I have learned from James

I have been following the Sikes blog (http://jamescamdensikes.blogspot.com) and am heartbroken over their loss. It has been a long road and a heartbroken road for us to lose a baby that we didnt even get the chance to see- I can not image the loss of a 8 month old. Within their blogging, both parents have been amazed at how the life of their son has effected people- but I am not amazed at all... however I think I have learned something from ALL 3 of them. Babies face things with all that they have-its in their very nature. I wish that we had all had the energy of children to face all our challenge without abandon and without fear. It's been the parents however that I am amazed with. I read a comment that said God allows huge tragedies to happen to two different kinds of people: those unbelievers so that they may learn to have faith in Him and believers who will show the grace and love of Christ throughout the ordeal. The Sikes are an amazing example of this love. They are not perfect and certainly are dealing with a ridiculous amount of heartache and pain- but through it all they have not forgotten who is in charge. They have put all their trust in the One who gave them their son, and trust that He is taking care of James now in heaven.

I believe:
God is good God who loves his people.
and I believe:
We live in a fallen world full of pain.
I can hold both of those truths and chose to believe that in the end it will all work together for those who follow and love Christ.

So for today I will chose to kiss my child far more than he likes it! I will hold him close. I will say my prayers over him and remember that he is on loan to us. I will thank God for giving me one more day of being his mother, for being Bryan's wife. I will put my computer down, put my to do list away for a while and SNUGGLE. In fact- thats what I will do right now!!!

one of those days

Today has been one of THOSE day! I fell loading the baby in the car and tweeked my back, spilled cup of coffee into the diaper bag, had a fussy baby that only wants to be held, bickered with Bryan (all my fault I might add), gotten NOTHING done for work, felt ridiculously overwhelmed with mainting my sanity, still having a rough go of thinking of babies 3rd birthday, not able to do mall walking the last couple of days and realized we are running SO low on funds as we are still paying off a ridiculous amount of NICU bills.

I have been a LOVELY mood all day too- the closest I can relate myself too is a combination of Lucy from Charlie Brown and a stubborn 2 year old. So, needless to say you wouldn't want to be hanging out with me today.

And then I read this blog...http://jamescamdensikes.blogspot.com/...she is a friend of my sisters. Life is precious- and short. It's not fair- God doesnt make sense! God seriously doesn't make ANY sense at all. He allows things that I simply will never understand. I hold on to the truth ALL things work together for those who love the Lord. But why them? Why not me? Why did God grant us a healthy baby?

so today I will hug my boy... I will get over myself when he is fussy.. I will stop complaining that I am once again eating a cold dinner... I will love that my son wants to be held during nap time. My mom once told me that children are on load from the Lord. And I will treasure the one that God loaned to me.

3rd Birthday

In mid November of 2008 we found out that we were pregnant. It was a huge suprise for both of us as we were told that it would take months to get pregnant (and it took ONE WEEK!). We were so excited. I, like many first time moms, started making plans the day we got the test with 2 lines. I began to rearrange furniture, clean out closets, look for schools, think of names and nursery colors. They would have a July birthday. Nearly 9 weeks into the pregnancy our lives were flipped upside down when we were rushed into the ER with an ectopic pregnancy. The baby was stuck in my left tube. both had to be taken out.

I dont know if its ever anything I will ever get over... just get through. God has brought us into such a place of peace and perspective (there are mothers who suffer MUCH MUCH worse). But I believe that a mother becomes a mother the second she knows she is pregnant- and that baby will always be more first precious sweet angel. This time of year has been emotional for me to say the least- as I plan my sons baptism, and think that we could also be celebrating a 3rd birthday. God allows all things and I know his plan is PERFECT. And I know that ALL things will come together for GOOD for those who love him.. and I LOVE HIM! And I know that He is big enough to know that this sucks sometimes.

What a Weekend

We had a crazy busy 4th of July weekend. Bryan and I are such homebodies- so when we have a weekend full of social activities it needs to be written down.

First we had a sweet birthday party for one of my favorite 2 year olds. We headed to the Bloems () and join with the future Melkes. Bridgette is 2, Aiden is 9 months and Ethan is now 3 months. They look like they are so much older, but I know in a year when they will all be able to play together and I am so excited.


Aiden wasn't so sure about Ethan. He just couldnt move as much as he desired. So he spent the evening poking him waiting for him to move.


Marc started drawing tattoos on Bridgette. At first she wasn't so sure, but as soon as Marc stopped she drew all over her arms.


Bridgette is so good with the little boys. She was gentle with E and at one point just started kissing him and laughing "kiss baby... kiss baby!! hahaha..."

Then we headed to family time at Karen and Ricks house. It was nice to have some good quality family time. And there was a pool, so my half fish husband had to get in and so did our half fish son.


The sweetest moment of the night was when Diesel laid on the floor and giggeled with Ethan. I cant wait to see the relationship that blossoms out of these two over the years. I adore my father, and my heart gets so SO BIG when I see the two of these boys together.


Then on 4th of July we headed to the Carrolls. They have been some of our best friends since we started dating. They have been an example of Christ marriage to us and have been great at praying for us through the rough times. They were up at the hospital to visit us when Ethan was born nearly every day. It's been so fun to see David and Ethan. He is the baby whisperer.

They even bought E his own floaty and he loved it (until his diaper started to fill up and he began to sink.


After such an amazing weekend, it was nice to start the work week with my other kids. This kid is going to learn to be quiet a flirt with all the girls he is with all the time.

jakey

I have had sweet Jake since I was a senior in college. In October of my senior year both my childhood dogs passed away and I was a mess. My roommates, I think just to get me to stop crying, said they would buy me a dog dog for my birthday. We went to the Waco shelter and found Jake right off. He came from a big litter... they were all barking and Jake was asleep in the back. That just about sums up how he has lived ever since.

Poor Jake- he has been very patient as we have added more people to our pack. It was just he and I for 6 years.. then Bryan...then Peeka... now Ethan. When we brought Ethan home Jake would have NOTHING to do with him. If Ethan was brought into a room, Jake would quickly walk out. However, in the last 2 weeks Jake has become very protective of this little guy. If he cries more than 2 seconds, he runs in to stare at me .. as if to say "FIX IT!" Today the two of them took a nap together on the bed...holding hands/paws.

Working Mom

I know there are working moms all across America that do it because they have to or want to. I have to admit that I want to. I dont know how good of a mom I would be if i had to be home ALL DAY! I am better having a career. And I have admit that I have the BEST JOB for being a working mom. St Luke's has been so amazing for our family. I am able to work from home Tuesday and Thursday. These days are fun for Ethan and me. We have the chance to meet with students, parents, and the other young moms of the church for meetings all day. I work at the office Wednesday and Friday and right now my mom and aunt take care of him till 2pm when I get home. In the fall he will go to MDO. Sundays he will be in the nursery when Bryan and I teach Sunday School and Bible Study.. and Saturday and Monday are FAMILY DAYS!

I am a strong believer in that its takes a village to raise a kid. And I love the village that we have surrounded him in. He has tons of sisters and brothers in Christ around him daily. I dont know if I will work this much when we have more children (if God blesses us with more). But for now we are loving it.

New Routine

Having a premie is difficult when it comes to deciding the timing of things. What an "average 3 month old" is now necessarily where E is. Nor does he fit all the 1 month (his adjusted age) milestones. However, for my OWN sanity I decided we would try a night time routine (since we have no symblance of one during the day) and its actually worked BEAUTIFULLY! It has been a lot of change of the little guy to go to formula, his own room/crib, and my return to work.. so i think a routine settles both of us down at the end of the day.



We start with a bath. I am sure he will be half fish like his daddy. He could be in there till his fingers and toes are wrinkely. =0)



Then diaper and pjs (this boy will NOT be swaddled so its footsie pjs!!), its time for a bottle. YUM!



And then when he is beginning his milk coma- we read Goodnight Moon.. my favorite!




And then night night with a kiss and lights out. He will sleep 4-5 hours for the first stretch...

and then 3 hours for the next one. At about 5am when i am SO NOT READY to be up for the day, and since daddy is gone, he comes in bed with me and the puppies... I have to admit its my favorite 2 hours (if i am lucky) of the day!