Friday, December 17, 2010

19 weeks




How Far Along: 19 weeks
Size of baby: Baby Head is the size of an heirloom tomato
Total Weight Gain/Loss: I dont want to know!
Maternity Clothes: Maternity jeans and stretch pants are a must! Everything is else is normal
Gender: So excited to find out- Find out Monday!!!
Movement: None so far
Sleep: Great but having trouble figuring how to sleep surrounded with pillows
What I miss: Coffee!
Cravings: Pizza, Jalepenos, M&Ms
Symptoms: Feeling great.. just a few leg cramps.
Best Moment this week: Finally feeling normal again.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

15






How Far Along: 15 weeks
Size of baby: Baby Head is the size of a lemon
Total Weight Gain/Loss: I dont want to know!
Maternity Clothes: Maternity jeans and stretch pants are a must!
Gender: Not sure but can't wait to find out!Think its a boy
Movement: None so far
Sleep: Great but starting to have trouble figuring how to sleep not on my stomach.
What I miss: Diet Coke!
Cravings: Pizza, Mexican and ice water
Symptoms: Most everything is gone- nauseous far less, but keep sleep ALL DAY!
Best Moment this week: Today finally feeling normal again.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

11 Weeks



How Far Along: 11 Weeks
Size of baby: Baby Head is the size of a lime!
Total Weight Gain/Loss: I dont want to know!
Maternity Clothes: None yet, but certainly have out the belly band in case! Gender: Not sure but can't wait to find out!
Movement: None so far
Sleep: Great, but getting up at last twice a night for the restroom.
What I miss: Diet Coke!
Cravings: Mexican, Mashed Potatoes, Ice water
Symptoms: Nausea, Vomitting, and super super tired
Best Moment this week: Today finally feeling normal again.

Monday, October 18, 2010

If 2 Heads are better than 1....

than 3 Heads must be AWESOME!
Head #3 coming May 2011.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

In the Meantime 2



While we wait I love seeing moments like this!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

In the meantime...

When anyone is going through infertility treatment, its a "hurry up and wait" process. Hurry and get all your paperwork finished, rush to the doctor and then "if you could just wait two weeks than we will know what we are dealing with." So I live most of my life "in the meantime.." I suppose we all do. We are often between life changing moments in our life.

So, in the meantime

- I am thankful for a husband who is my cheerleader and number one fan when I feel the world falling out beneath me.
- I am thankful for a group of amazing friends who constantly keep me laughing and joyful.
- I am thankful for a family that enjoys being with each other and that is always there for support.
- I am thankful for a job that I can go to everyday to tell little ears about the love of the Lord.
- and I am thankful for God who's plan is ALWAYS INFINATLY BETTER THAN MINE!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Months away... I hope

The other day, after getting upset that yet someone else got pregnant after trying for only a month, Bryan asked if I could ever be happy for someone else? At first, it hurt my feelings.. okay lets be honest I was mad. I am happy when my family and friends get pregnant. My heart truly does jump with excitment when someone says "I'm pregnant!"

But lets also be honest about grief. I have found that only women who have walked this road, can understand the insanity and rollercoaster that comes with this kind of grief. Only women who have walked this road can understand the guilt that comes when you believe your body can't do what it is created to do. Its the other women that understand the anger that comes when you see yet another 12 year old on food stamps 9 months pregnant at the Walmart.

It's difficult to be both honest with others and honest with myself. In order to be honest with myself and to be honest with others... that means getting mad or sad at an in appropriate time. It means having to explain yourself and ask for forgiveness. But- to not be truthful with yourself when you're grieving just gets things sticky and everything comes out sidesways and backwards.

So- I am going to chose to be honest and deal wtih the outcome. I will likely cry again in the grocery line when i see that another young celebrity in a fake relationship had a beautiful baby boy. I will like think, or whisper, some snide remark at the 12 year old mothers at Walmart and then have to quickly ask for forgiviness from my husband and the Lord. I will likely have a meltdown if another friend or family member gets pregnant after she first starts crying...

But thats grief... sticky, uncomfortable, authentic, animalistic, selfish, real.

And this too shall pass.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hope- but not too much

I am having a really tough time with holding onto hope. I am hopeful that God will provide a child for us. I am hopeful that our doctor knows what he is doing and will do all that he can to make IUI work for us. But I also fall into so much joy and excitment that I get afraid that i will disappointed. How do you do that? How do I get excited that FINALLY we have answers... FINALLY we have a procedure.... and yet I dont want fall into sorrow again if this doesnt work. Does anyone else feel like this? Overwhelmed- loads of overwhelmed-ness!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

An Answer

YEA! Answers. After tons of testing, praying, grieving, giving up and picking ourselves up again... WE HAVE AN ANSWER. And its no big deal and so easy to deal with. So starting in March Bryan and I will have our first IUI. Now our prayers is for it to work and stick the first time