Is being a mom enough? honestly.

I think I have written about this before, but I suppose that I am still struggling. Let me get this out first, I love being a mom. I love my little boogers... I prayed for them for years and love every second (even the screaming) with them.

 

It has become clear to me in the last several years, and crystal clear in the last several months, that life is short and that God has COMMANDED us to share His love and gospel with others. It's not about getting comfortable... its not about making sure our kids make it to some Ivy League school or make quarterback (although Bryan is already training Ethan!), because none of that will matter if they aren't longing after God. But right now I can't do much more than make sure THIS doesn't happen again....

Even as a youth minister I struggled with ministering to the "rich white kids." Doesn't God long for us to take care of the poor, the widowed, the orphans.. not the private school families. It was a very wise man, my sweet friend Jimmy Dorrell, who sat me down and helped me understand that people are poor and lacking Jesus in every socioeconomic group. And it's going to be these people who will have the power to change things for God.

 

I came alive the most when I was in the midst of pilgrimage. In the midst of showing these kiddos what true love and service was. A part of my heart came alive that I don't feel anywhere else. I could SEE God, I could HEAR Him. It's amazing.

 

But in the season of my life I have the gift that I have been praying for... able to only work a few hours a week teaching preschool, playing with my 2 kiddos, going to playgroups, volunteering at church. And I feel useless some days. Today.

 

How do you moms of young kiddos do it? I tell myself "when the boys are in school I will go back and do 'good work." But our days are numbered... I want to do something NOW! Is ministering to these two little boys enough? Is playing with 2 year olds three days a week serving Christ? With two little ones and a husband that works weird hours how do you moms find time to be His hands and feet. Or Am I failing at looking at motherhood as a minsitry in and of itself?