For those who didn't know, I was recently hospitalized with an ectopic pregnancy. I knew something was wrong the whole time I suppose- I was just really hoping Bryan was right and that I was just a worry wart. We were/are heartbroken that the pregnancy didnt keep, and sad that those 2.5 months of planning and getting excited are lost.
Its a weird feeling- Grief. I suppose its a little bit of everything all rolled into one big label. Af=t first I thought for sure it was all just a bad dream. Which turned into disillusion... which turned into anger that all my friends were having healthy babies and I can't.... which turned into desperation and loss.... which turned into sadness... which turned into anger... which turned into hope.... and sometimes all in one day.
I know God will grant Bry and I a baby.... for there is NOTHING in this world I want to do more than to be a mother and Bryan wants so badly to be a father. I just don't know how he will do it or when.
Right now my outlook is bright (the roses from my husband helping to brighten the mood). God is faithful- even when you can't see it. I will hold to that as I walk through these days not feeling him very much.
1 comment:
It's good to see you blogging again!!! I know this has been difficult for you, but I also KNOW and TRUST that God will see that you're holding a precious little "HEAD" in your arms!! I'm glad you have a sweet hubby to walk you through this.....Know that I love you TONS and have been praying for you!!!
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