To potty or not to potty

Well , it's official. Ethan is officially DE-potty trained. Well that isn't completely true, because he would have had to be have been potty trained for him to do this.. .

Okay, let's begin on Wednesday.

We had planned weeks ago that Ethan was ready to use the potty. He knew what it meant as most of his friends at school and church were or were in the process of starting potty training. He got ridiculously excited when we passed the underwear at Target.

He knew that after Christmas we were going to give all of our diapers to Tyler and start getting in underwear.

So, after searching out  A LOT of advice, I decided to just go ahead and put him in underwear and ask him to tell me when he needed to go. I let him have a ridiculous amount of juice boxes and bribed him with toys and candy. I am not above bribery!! 

The first morning was tough, but I knew it would be. He didn't want to sit on the potty, but when he did eventually settle down and sit he asked me to sing the alphabet (WEIRDO). After "z" he would pee and I would do a ridiculous peepee dance and bring on the candy! 

The second morning, I realized he had stayed dry all night. "HE HAS IT!" I thought to myself, but oh was I wrong. This is the kid that yells "I WANT TO GO HOME the second he walks into a party, the kid that closes his ears and playdates, the kid that loves musicals over cartoons, the kid that dips all his food in ranch, the kid that says "bologna" instead of "cheese" when a camera comes out.... nothing was going to be NORMAL! 

So, he was dry... I was excited... but when I asked to change him  into diapers he FREAKED OUT! He didnt want to go potty, he didn't want diapers. He held it ALL DAY, refused to drink, and would cry when I put him on the potty (even with the ABCs). 

At one point he climbed up onto the changing table and said "I AM NOT A BIG BOY! I am a baby and I need a diaper." Bryan and I figured he just wasn't ready, that he likely didn't know when he was peeing and we would start this again during spring break. 

But Friday we realized we have a total weirdo. Ethan wanted only diapers, but REFUSED to pee in his diaper. He had learned that peeing in the underwear was wrong,  but he was terrified of the potty. THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTS- our son is afraid of diapers and the potty. I was for sure his bladder would explode. He would start crying, pace back and forth and ask me to hold him. I knew he had to go, but you cant make someone pee. I told him it was okay to pee in his diapers or the potty, but that his tummy didn't feel good because he was holding it. 

This continued through Sunday.. thats right... crying, wailing, bribery, frustration, tears, holding it and total fear of both going in the potty or peeing his diaper. He figured out how to hold it (which is awesome), figured out how to listen to this body (which is great) but out totally weird kid couldn't figure how to let it out. 

So- we "DE-POTTY TRAINED" little Ethan. I told him if he ever wanted to go on the potty to just ask, but that it was okay for now to go in his diaper. For whatever reason he finally "got it" it this afternoon... he looked at me and said 

"Yea mommy- I am still only 2." 

good point kiddo... good point

Christmas 2013

Oh Christmas. This year it simply doesn't feel like Christmas. I wish that I could say that I had the Christmas spirit, but I simply didn't. With a short season between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Bryan being gone all the time with UPS, and the kids being sick it just seamed to be a month of control chaos.

But within that month we sure as heck had moments of sweet delight.

Like sweet hugs from brothers when I actually had my camera out. 

Like when Ethan chose blue for the cupcakes for Jesus Birthday because "Jesus likes blue" 

Like when Hulk and Tyler had a stand off and staring contest. 

Or like when Bert and Ernie went around on Christmas giving everyone kisses. 

Like when Uncle Jeff would get the boys upside down WHENEVER they asked. 

Like snuggles with Diesel. 

Like seeing Trains at Northpark with Moke and Diesel

Like posing in the middle of the chaos. 

So, maybe I missed the opportunity behind the camera to feel what I feel now that I see the pictures. Maybe it's time to live on the other side of the camera this week. 

Santa Clause Mishap

I have been looking forward to my children's first picture with Santa for as long as I can remember. As a kid I saw Santa, but I don't remember seeing the pictures very often. I didn't take Ethan the last 2 years because I wanted him to get it.

So we have been talking about Santa for a week (bronchitis put a damper in our first attempt). He would not hush his sweet little mouth about sitting on Santa's lap and telling him what he wanted. After work I had a rare moment and said "forget plans-lets just go- NOW!"

And it looked something like this..

Step 1: Ethan does NOT stop talking the whole way to the mall about how he is going to tell Santa that he
"wants a Mike Wazowski stuffed animal  or toy.... and  Tyler can't talk so I will talk for him and I think he wants a Sully toy.. oh yea he already has a Sully.. well maybe he wants books. Yea- Tyler wants books. You like books Tyler? He likes books right mom?"

Step 2: As we park Ethan SCREAMS with excitement at the idea of Santa. He yells at Tyler "TT Monkey- we are going to see Santa!!! SANTA!!!! Well, unless he went to go get lunch or take a nap. Right mom? Remember when Santa went to eat lunch?" (Rewind to last week when we saw Santa at another mall. I told him we would circle the mall and see him again, well when we came back he was gone. Ethan looked at me and said "I guess he went to eat his lunch").

Step 3: Elevator is broken at the mall so we have to strut to the other side to see Santa. As we pass the place that Ethan knows we should be going to he says "mom we are going to pass Santa"... I love how toddlers think parents are total idiots. =)

Step 4: We are in line and boys see Santa. Both start laughing and pointing. Ethan wants to get out of the stroller and go up there. The girl in front of us is finished and he walks up to Santa with no problem...

and this then happens..

YEP!
Step 5: TOTALLY FROZE! His body went stiff, he didn't speak, I am not sure he even blinked. Tyler totally freaked out and I am just not the mom that cares bad enough to see their kiddo cry in a picture so he stayed with me.

Step 6: When Santa asks him what he wants he just stares at him. Then back at me. Then back at Santa. Not saying a word. I chime in with "dont you want a mike wazowski toy?"  With a faint whisper he looks at Santa and says  "Mike Please"

Step 7: The second Ethan gets off Santa's lap he looks at me with great concern and says "Where is my Mike Wazowski toy?"  Oh dear.

As we were leaving the mall Ethan said "Mommy this has been a good day." So I went with it and took the boys to their favorite (and mine) Chipotle for dinner. Bryan has been working ridiculous hours, so its just me all the time so I will do anything not to be home.

Apparently it was an amazing episode of Lazy Town. And YES I am that  mom who brings the Ipad to restaurants.

My boys love their beans and rice!

It's hard to watch the boys alone. Shout out to all the single moms. Bryan is doing everything in his power to spend time with us during the week, but during this season we just expect to spend time with him on the weekends. That is why I am so thankful for bedtime movies, adult drinks in Mickey Christmas cups, and mommy time post bedtime.

Because the Christmas Season needed One more Thing...

Bronchitis has hit the Head house. Lovely. Because December didn't have enough stuff to deal with. 

The cure for Bronchitis is breathing treatments. Help me out.. Think of something harder than getting a 2 year old to sit still for breathing treatments 4 times a day.... think... think... The answer is NOTHING!!! 

Luckily, Sully Monster was a willing participant for practicing. Thank you Sully. Ethan got to practice putting it on and comforting Sully "it's okay Sully, the medicine will make you feel better." 

What a good sport he was. 

And to help him sit still for a little bit, I told Ethan I would download any movie off the Apple TV. After his 3 week long OBSESSION with the Wizard of Oz, Ethan chose Shrek the Musical. It was so sweet, the combination of two of his favorites Shrek and musicals. We have now watched it 3 times a day since Friday. 

The sweet downtime has allowed for moments that are simply priceless moments (it's a huge rarity for BOTH of them to just sit and allow the other to be this close to him. 

Ice Day

I hear other mom friends talk about their love of snow/ice days. They look forward to the sweet moments with their kiddos. Am I the only mom that thinks "Oh crap.. what in the world am I going to do with them all day?" I am NOT the mom to stay at home. Most days when we have nothing planned we are still out the door by 8:30am to hit the zoo, the museums, the mall, the Arboretum, ANYWHERE but staying at home. So the idea of being home alone (since my sweet UPS man is working a 24 hour day-- thats right.. THANK YOU UPS MAN!) with two toddlers for 2 straight days.

So, because outside looked like this... 

then our living room looked a little bit like this... 

... then our kitchen table was covered with art projects like this... 

.. then my legos looked like this.. 

...because one 2 year old looked like this.. 

but luckily their love for the Wizard of Oz made them look like this... 

So at least at the end of the day I had this to look forward to. 

Oh, my sacred down time. If you haven't discovered Brene Brown- pick her up. It's so refreshing to read someone who has both down the research and sounds approachable. This particular book has come at the right time for me. A book on vulnerability.Every sentence slaps me in the face. 

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A prayer I didn't ask for

Have you ever prayed to see the world through God's eyes? It's a prayer that people say a lot and there are Christian songs all about it.

Well I DIDN'T say this prayer. I had every intention of bringing my OWN pain to the table. My heart was heavy for myself, my pain, and my anxiety.

But, as soon as I sat down to pray, God quickly reminded me of the sermon I had heard on Sunday. Our pastor spoke about what a miracle it was that Jesus wept for us. That GOD'S SON sat down and wept for our pain. And then... well I can only explain it as a RUSH of pain that came over me. God brought to my mind people I have long forgot about, new friends who had recently shared their pain, , enemies and people I had met mearly once on mission projects. I felt it. I felt the loss of a child, the loss of a sister, divorce, addiction, cancer- it was compassion. And then it hit me- I am weeping over a handful of people and Jesus felt ALL of our pain.

I often assume that God can't handle my pain. As of my pain is either too petty and silly, or too much and intense. But the truth is Jesus wept for me. God sits with us in our pain and asks us to sit with others in their pain as well as their joy. He holds us with love and compassion.

If given the chance I would NOT pray that prayer anytime soon. But it was the most painfully beautiful gift I have ever recieved and has changed my heart for ever.