End of the Summer

The end of summer is so bitter sweet for me. I have to admit, I am SO READY to have the kids and I back into a routine. I don't do well without my day scheduled, and I honestly I am a much better mom and wife when my dayplanner is color coded and full. 

However, there have been so many random moments of pure sweetness and fun this summer that I don't often appreciate in those scheduled months. I must learn from these moments. There is love and joy in the comes from the random sporadic fun. I suppose I need to make room on my to do list for "sporadic fun!" No, but really. 

Last week we had a paint party. Throw some paper up on the fence, get the paint out- and ta da!! So fun. 

And then last night we had a dance party. The three of us have daily dance parties, but yesterday was one for the books. Daddy joined us, we turned off the lights and did a rave with glowsticks, and got out all the instruments. I haven't had that much fun in a really long time.  

The typical happens. 

Tyler: " Mommy- dance with me." 

Ethan: "Look at me Mommy... I am a rockstar!? 

And of course Watermelon breaks. 

I will miss this summer. But I am so glad that I soaked in every minute of fun time with them. This year is starting off busy and it's going to be a year of transitions for sure. These years are going by so very fast.

Death

Death is a tough subject with toddlers. Their brains can hardly handle the concept that their teachers don''t live in their school, let alone someone being gone.

Today Ethan explained that the way we were driving looked like he way to Wahado's house (the name of my grandmother who passed away a couple of moms ago).

"Do you remember where I said Wahado was now?"
"Umm... Nope."
"She's in heaven with Jesus."
" that makes me sad... I miss her."
"Me too."

A few minutes later

"Why is she in heaven?"
"Because she dies. And when you love Jesus and die you get to live with Jesus."
" how did she die?"
"Umm... Sometimes when people get older they get really sick..."( I panicked!)
" she should go to Dr Hanig... He always makes me better."
" yep. He does. But sometimes when you get older your body just can't get well and so she went to be with Jesus."

He seems to be okay with my answers.

Tyler " Wahado die?
Ethan " yes."
T- " how did she die?"
E- " she got old and then moved to live with Jesus. . Jesus loved her a lot."
T-  why no bandaid?

What a sweet and innocent heart to think and truly  believe that a bandaid could fix anything. In the midst of all the hurt in the world I think maybe it's time to remember to think like a 2 year old.

-always remember and remind others that Jesus loves us a lot
- we should continue to hold the ones we love dearly in our hearts and in our tongues
- sometimes a hug and a bandaid really can cure the soul
- feel your feelings, jump into them , then move on

My boys teach me more than I could ever teach them. Thanks for he reminder today buddies.

Cleaning Out the Cloud

Just cleaning out the Cloud and wanted to savor this cute moments. The last couple of days I have had inservice meetings, so Bryan is on full time parenting duty. And of course- on daddy days there are snow-cones and long hours at the park. Who cares if it's 103 degrees??!?! 

And then a should out to these 8 cuties (only missing 1 on the end who was NOT having it this evening). Bryan and I have been praying for a community of believers to share life with for years. And God surely blessed us 10 fold with this bunch. 10 adults and 9 kids makes us a loud and roudy bunch for sure. But there is NO ONE I would rather have on my side then these guys. God knew what he was doing when He created us for community. And honesty- name a cuter bunch of kids! I dare you! 

The best part of the kids picture was seeing that Bryan had captured the moms attempting to get everyone to smile and stay still at the same time. What a mom will do is totally ridiculous for one good picture.

Shut My Mouth and Change My Heart

I always feared God would give me a girl . I just knew that if I had a little girl that all my insecurities and body hatred would rub off on her. I was so relieved when I had boys... I had the (WRONG) idea that I therefor didn't have to worry about what I said or thought about my body around my sons.

I WAS WRONG!

This morning as we all sat down to breakfast I noticed that Bryan had made me a ridiculous amount of scrambled eggs.

Me- I need someone to take some of these?
Bry- why?
Me- because I don't want to be fat.

As we were finishing, and yes I finished all my eggs, Ethan looked at my plate and said "oh no, you're fat." He had a true sense of anxiety on his little 3 year old face.

I thought I only had to worry about this with daughters.

Later as we're getting ready for the zoo, I looked down and felt like a slob. At the same time, Ethan came in my room ...

Ethan- what are you doing?
Me- trying to find something else to wear
Ethan- why?
Me- because I don't want to look ugly and fat.
Ethan (yelling down the hall)- mom u\is changing so she won't be fate and ugly for you dad.

I just stood there. What am I teaching him? That girls should always be skinny and worried about their size? That HE should worry about his weight? That mommy isn't happy unless she has her act together? That he can't be happy unless he is skinny and handsome?

I was wrong. My insecurities will wipe off on whoever is around me... The little boys included.

I want the boys to know how God created each of us so perfectly. That we should be thankful, daily, on the vessel he gave us and to take care of it (not tear it down). I want to model a woman who is thinking about her identity in Christ and not her jean size.

God Help Me.