Transition Home

I thought for sure that Ethan would have a rough time sharing attention, I thought for sure that I would be sore and overwhelmed, I thought for sure that I would be living on no sleep. And maybe all those things have come into light every now and then, but for the most part its been smooth. Ethan loves his brother and goes down for "head butts/hugs" on a regular basis. He is learning to share the attention and has only had a few moments of "LOOK AT ME!!"

The transition home has been much easier than I expected. Loads of hugs for everyone! Tyler is eating so much better than in the hospital, and its been a joy to start figuring out his little personality.

For the most part he is an easy baby. Being a premie he sleeps the majority of the day. But, unlike Ethan, Tyler loves to be held A LOT, he is an inconsistant eater, super expressive, and when he wants something HE LETS YOU KNOW! Ethan was on a schedule by the time we brought him home, always a good eater, and would be so patient when he needed food or a diaper change. T is certainly proving himself to be a strong willed kiddo.

Having a 16 month old and a newborn is fun.. but in this Texas heat its hard to figure out what to do. After so many months stuck in bed, I am ready to start moving and getting out. I learned quickly how to get the HUGE double stroller in and out of the car and how to get the kids ready and out the door in minutes. We have already hit the Galleria, Northpark, Diesels office, Moke's house, the Heads, the park, walking the nieghborhood, playing in the fort, Chicfila, and walking around Target.

We have had loads of friends over too (.. like our sweet friend Aiden- Ethans little twin). Ethan puts on a show when someone comes over and takes out all his toys. It's cute to see him so proud of his brother and his toys (about the same amount of pride!).

TCH

Tyler Constantine has made his sweet artival. Only 3 weeks early

July 10th
1:50pm
6 lb 1oz
18.5 inch

He was a little buddy!:) Ethan came right in to check him out. He bent down, gave him a hug and then got very bored. Typical 15 month old. Tyler is perfectly healthy, but we certainly couldn't work out our food rythem and he got down to 5lb 3oz.. Poor little guy.

We have loved being home. Ethan loves hugging T, helping with diaper changes and cuddeling with mom and dad again.

How we got here..

I am reflecting tonight, on my 9th day of hospital bedrest, on how we got to this point. After hearing we couldn't have babies, Ethan was our miracle child. Bryan and I were excited to have one child and had setteled on the idea that Ethan would be our little buddy and only child forever. Soon after my 31st birthday party, I realized that I just wasn't feeling right (and it wasn't the 3 margaritas I had to celebrate either). When Ethan was napping and Bryan was at work I took a pregnancy test (well 3 of them) and all came out with two solid lines! I began to weep.. not out of joy, not of despair, but out of a pit in my stomach that said "YIKES!!!" I called Bryan at work. Through my tears I just kept saying "I am pregnant... I am pregnant... Holy Crap... I am pregnant!" Poor Bryan I am sure it through him for a loop as much as it through me and he had to go back to work. We got right in to see the OB since I am a high risk patient. The first sonogram showed no baby. That's right NO BABY! With all these ridiculously senstive pregnancy tests, the baby wasn't even visable. This meant that I either had an early miscarriage or it simply hadn't formed big enough yet. So we came back a week later. and the baby was visable, but the heartbeat was too slow (95 when it needed to be 120). Once again there was potential for another miscarriage. ANOTHER week later I came back and the heartbeat was fine and strong. What a rollercoaster!! The beginning of this pregnancy was HORRID. I was sick all the time, and with a toddler who wanted to play and climb and move all the time- this became a difficult time for both of us. Wake up, throw up, fix Ethan breakfast, take a break to throw up, play for a while, throw up... By Ethans birthday I was feeling better and we found out we were having another BOY!! I was beyond excited. I love little girls, but I have always dreamed of having boys. By 30 weeks, we all thought that I had gotten out of the preeclampsie go around. We got all the plans made for going to 40 weeks and I relaxed in knowing we werent in a rush. And then by 32 weeks, it came back. The darn thing. The tough, and yet easy decision, this made for Bryan and I is that we are officially done having children. With each round of "P" it risks the life of the baby and my own life. At any point we could lose the baby, I could have a stroke or lost kidney function. I think God calls us to trust him AND to be wise. Our wise decision is to be finished having children. Now, if God calls us to have a bigger family, than we will then begin our prayers to adopt. I am sad to think this may be it, but know that it's simply not worth the risk and am RIDICULOUSLY THANKFUL for the two healthy boys that God has given us (after years of being told we wouldn't have ONE child!). So here I am, laying down at the hospital for a potential of another 3 weeks. God has a plan in this for all of us. Right now its hard for Bryan and myself (ethan is so super easy and loving spending time with Moke and Diesel, Mrs Julie and Madeline). I miss my boys, Bryan hates not seeing Ethan during the week, and both of us are having a rough time asking others for help. But it is allowing both of us time to rely on others, rely on God, and just to go day by day. In the meantime- I spend a lot of time on facetime with my boys... seriously precious.