but Ethan has had 2 really great days in a row. Besides me causing 2 Bradys today-oopss- He has done really well. All the nurses are amazed at what a good eater he is- he is taking the bottle or breastfeeding 4 out of his 8 meals a day. Before he leaves he has to be taking ALL 8 meals via the bottle or breastfeeding. He is on his way.
Today, however, I had a crappy mommy day. During feeding time Ethan has really begun to suck on the nipple of the bottle. That is GREAT-however his little throat can't take that much milk. Premies are not like newborns- they can't moderate their own feeding- so feeing a bottle has to be done at an angle and really moderating how much they are taking in and giving them breaks in between swallows. Its a process for sure. Well- mommy thought this little man was just being an amazing eater and could do 5-7 gulps- NOPE! poor little guy starts to choke- TWICE!!! I felt like a ridiculous failure. I know its a learning curve- but there is somthing in me ( maybe in all moms) that says i should know how to do this.
Also- is it normal to be so MOMMA BEAR with a new born. I dont know if its because he is little and fragile- or if I would feel this way with any baby- but I am RIDICULOUSLY OVERPROCTIVE. I totally recognize it. I won't let anyone hold him but Bryan and myself (and the nurses of cours) till he gets stronger. I know there will be a day soon when he will want to be with everyone else- so for now I simply want to hold him ALL DAY!
2 comments:
I think you are doing exactly what all mommies do! I have been that way with all of my full-term babies! You are such an amazing mom already! Its all a learning journey, and our poor first-borns get most of our mistakes!!! :) He is just perfect, I love reading your blog!
Yes, you are a mom alright! That momma bear came out with both of my kiddos! (and doesn't really go away) You are doing an amazing job! Try not to be so hard on yourself!
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