You Lose Reality and Perspective In Here

Its hard to hold onto reality and perspecitve in the NICU and Special Care. Luckily the majority of the time I hear how big he is getting, and how well he is doing... I begin to think that he will be coming home tomorrow- that he is a "normal" newborn. But that is compared to other NICU babies. Babies down the hall that are 2 pounds at 2 months old. Ethan is back up slowly getting back up to 4 pounds. He is only 33 weeks.. he should still have 7 weeks in me to grow, develop, and learn.

However, reality quickly strikes in those moments when his heart monitor goes off because he has an apnea.. or because his rate gets too low or too high... when the bells and whistles go off and nurses rush into the room. Then out of nowhere I am reminded that he is a premie- that he still has so many things to learn ( like breathing and swallowing).

E certainly is learning and trying new things. This week we are practicing the bottle and breastfeeding. A learning curve for both of us. I am spending my days at the hospital and my nights at home at this point.. soon I will be moving in to the hospital full time.

In the meantime I hang on to moments like this that simply melt my heart.