One step back.
Oh how I hate having a baby in the hospital. I wish I could say something about how much I have loved today- but on the rollercoaster of the NICU today was a total downer. We had expected that he come home yesterday but couldn't needed to prove that he could eat another 24 hours after a day of shots. Which he could easily do! However, he had a bradiacardia last night and this morning which set him up for another 5 days at the hospital.
He had gone over a week without any signs of a brady.. so it was both a dispointment and a scare to see him have 2 in 12 hours. Needless to say when the doctor came in to tell us that he will be here till at least in Monday we had a load of emotions. Upset, sad, dispointed, understanding, scared... We took a time out and drove around. It was a nice break to cry, talk and pray together about the situation.
When having a baby in the hospital you must learn to hold two intense feelings at the same time. But I suppose much of life is this way. Today we learned to hold
- The dispointment and hurt that Ethan wont be home with us for a while.
- And the understanding that God has him right where he needs to be.
After a break we hung out with the little man. Bryan held him all day...he is IN LOVE with his son. There were two expectations!! both grandpas came to visit today. It makes my heart so happy to see these two with him. They are in love with him and will certainly be spoiling him VERY soon.
At the end of the day God is still faithful.. God is still good. He loves this little man and loves Bryan and I. He has put us in this situation for a reason. I don't know it yet, I can't see it in the midst of my frustration and pain... but I hold onto hope. In the meantime of figuring it out I will simply love on my son to the best way I know how.
No comments:
Post a Comment