50/50

There has been a lot going on around the Head house lately. With this weather we are head over to the Arboretum just about every week. Having a membership during this past summer was useless- but with the weather cooling down and with the pumpkins out its PERFECT!

Bryan and I are also going through a time of prayer and relying on the Lord. We wanted 2 children for a very long time, but its been very clear that my body HATES being pregnant. After this months appointment with my doctor we found out that we have a 50/50 chance of preeclampsia and HELPP syndrome returning (if I can even get pregnant again!).

The consequences of getting it again? Premature baby, stroke, death (for me or baby). No big deal huh? With that news Bryan and I have certainly had some lenghly conversations. When it comes down to it this is what I know for sure. God tells me not to fear! In fact its the phrase most used in scripture. HOWEVER- he also gave us a brain and asks that we be WISE.

I want a sibling for this little man- but do I risk losing another baby? Do I risk leaving Ethan without a mother, Bryan without a wife or being dependent on them for everything? Everyone would chose something else. Everyone in my position would have their own lengthly list of reasons to try or not to try. But we...

... are going to leave this up to God. I don't think my family is complete. But what I think and what God thinks are two radically different things. We will try- we will pray-and then we will release it. God knows what is best and he will protect our family. Selfishly I hope that means having a sibling for Ethan. I would love two little rugrats around here.

But I am reminded of 1 Thessalonians 5:18 " Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." So we will be thankful. ALWAYS!
In the meantime little E is keeping us busy. He is moving as much as he can and my guess will be going from scooting to crawling in the next few weeks. Time to baby proof!