3rd Birthday

In mid November of 2008 we found out that we were pregnant. It was a huge suprise for both of us as we were told that it would take months to get pregnant (and it took ONE WEEK!). We were so excited. I, like many first time moms, started making plans the day we got the test with 2 lines. I began to rearrange furniture, clean out closets, look for schools, think of names and nursery colors. They would have a July birthday. Nearly 9 weeks into the pregnancy our lives were flipped upside down when we were rushed into the ER with an ectopic pregnancy. The baby was stuck in my left tube. both had to be taken out.

I dont know if its ever anything I will ever get over... just get through. God has brought us into such a place of peace and perspective (there are mothers who suffer MUCH MUCH worse). But I believe that a mother becomes a mother the second she knows she is pregnant- and that baby will always be more first precious sweet angel. This time of year has been emotional for me to say the least- as I plan my sons baptism, and think that we could also be celebrating a 3rd birthday. God allows all things and I know his plan is PERFECT. And I know that ALL things will come together for GOOD for those who love him.. and I LOVE HIM! And I know that He is big enough to know that this sucks sometimes.